Life with the triplets
by Chaos Silk
Summary: From my experience with my friend’s siblings, whether younger or older, brothers or sisters, they tended to make one’s life living hell. And I was about to get three. AU, from Chibi Seph's POV
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I only own my muse and the plotline, nothing else.

AN: I really, really wanted to do a humor fic with Sephiroth and the silver haired trio, so I did. There won't being any pairings, because they're all kids.

Warnings: Random humor and all that jazz

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Sephiroth's POV

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Up until I was ten my life was great.

I had amazing parents, ones who were willing to ignore my pyromania and violent tendencies and sometimes, even encourage them.

I had great friends. Vincent, the paintball-gun-toting psychopath, Reno the friendly neighborhood pyromaniac, Zack, the town idiot's son, Cloud, the blonde with sharp objects, Tseng, the local ninja wannabe, Rufus, the rich boy, Rude, the bald kid, and various others in various states of sanity and notoriety.

What I did not have was a sibling, which I thanked every deity for. From my experience with my friend's siblings, whether younger or older, brothers or sisters, they tended to make one's life living hell.

And I was about to get three.

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TBC

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Ages:

Sephiroth - - - 10yrs

Vincent - - - 12yrs

Reno - - - 8yrs

Zack - - - 9yrs

Cloud - - - 7yrs

Tseng - - - 9yrs

Rufus - - - 7yrs

Rude - - - 9yrs

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Well what do you think?


	2. The first meeting

Disclaimer: I only own my muse and the plotline, nothing else.

AN: This was so much fun to write.

Warnings: read the first chapter.

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Mom strode through the house in a huff, throwing objects around and yelling up a storm. It was scary. My mom is perhaps the scariest person I know, scarier even than Vincent who would shoot a person in the groin at the slightest hint of stupidity. Which was a funny story, but a story for another day.

I don't know what set her off, seeing as how I was burning things in the bathroom when it happened. I heard glass shatter against the wall and my mother's yelling, so I did what I always did. I ran to my room, hid under my bed and prayed my hair wouldn't get caught on the underside of my bed. That hurt like nobody's business.

I sneezed as yet another vase made contact with the wall, stirring up a large dust amount of dust, which made me sneeze again. I really needed to clean under my bed. I was debating on whether or not jumping out the window was an acceptable way to get out of the house _it wasn't_ when suddenly a child's face appeared in between the floor and the bed.

"What are you doing?" He asked, his green eyes confused. Looking at him was eerily like looking in a mirror except he was younger and his hair was much shorter. It was chin length, but it still looked like mine.

"I'm hiding. What does it look like I'm doing?" I snapped, wondering who this kid was and why was he in my room. He blinked.

"Why?" He asked, but at this point I wasn't in the mood to be answering questions. He was lucky my hair had got caught in the wires of my bedframe because had I been free and painless I would punched him in the face for coming into my room with permission.

"Because my mom is scary." I grumbled, starting the long process of unknotting my hair from the wires. Sometimes it sucked to have long hair, but it looked really, really cool if you could pull it off. And boy could I pull it off.

"Why is your mom scary?" He asked as my mom's screeching reached a whole new level. Whatever she was mad about had really pissed her off. I stared at him, wondering how he could not find the screaming and random glass shattering frightening. It scared the heck out of me and I had lived with it my entire life.

My hair finally came free and I climbed out from underneath my bed, glaring at the little wannabe-me the entire time. Huffing angrily, I pointed at the door, clearly indicating that the little brat should get out of my room. He looked at me curiously and closed the door. I glared at him, just who did he think he is?

On second thought, who was this kid who looked like me and dared come in my room without my permission. "Who are you?" And is it safe to stab youI wisely left that part out, didn't want to make mom madder because some little kid was crying in _my _room.

He blinked at me, looking innocent. "I'm Kadaj, are you my Daddy?"

I saw red. My hand twitched and the next thing I knew I was reaching for my trusty sword Masamune which I kept by my bedside just in case of closet monsters. Luckily for the brat the door to my room creaked open, distracting me from my self appointed quest to stab him in the face.

I looked towards the door, expecting my mom or at the very least my dad. It wasn't my parents but two little brats who looked almost identical (the lengths of the hair was different) to the one in front of me who was of course identical to a younger me.

"What the hell?" Now I very rarely swear because the consequences for swearing are always grave. Mom usually makes me brush my teeth with liquid soap when I swear and I never, ever want to go through that again.

"Who're you?" The one with the short hair said, staring at me like I was his long lost idol or something. There were literally stars in his eyes.

"He's our daddy." The first one piped up, my eye twitched. There was only one surefire way to end this and get all these mini-mes out of my room and make my life headache free.

I took a deep breath.

"MOMMY!!!"

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TBC

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Ages:

Kadaj, Loz, Yazoo - - - 5yrs

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Well what do you think?


	3. Out the window with ye

Disclaimer: I only own my muse and the plotline, nothing else.

AN: More adventures with Chibi-Seph and friends

Warnings: read the first chapter, Oh and mild language...

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Five seconds after I screamed my mother burst into my room, her eyes were wild and she frightened me. When her gaze landed on me her entire face lit up and she rushed over to me, dropping to her knees and drawing me into a hug.

"It's ok sweetie. Mommy didn't mean to scare you. It's just that Daddy starting doing something really stupid a couple years ago and Mommy just found out about it." She cooed, petting my hair like she always did.

"I wasn't screaming about that." I said and after a second of struggling to get my arm out of her hug of death, I lifted it and pointed at the three little monsters who had invaded my room.

"Who are these kids and why are they calling me daddy?" I asked, because if anyone would know, my mom would. She knew everything. Well everything except what Daddy did to make her soo mad, I would ask, but I usually get told not to peek into adult business. I felt her blink against my neck and raise her head to stare at the three who were now bouncing on my bed.

"Sephy, dear..." She paused as though considering what to say. I felt a chill run down my spine and found myself dreading her next words. She took another look at the three and sighed. "I'd like you to meet your three half brothers, Kadaj, Loz and Yazoo..."

I stared at her like she had completely lost her mind. "I thought you said I couldn't have a little brother." She sighed again, rubbing her forehead.

"It seems that your father had other ideas." She sighed again and wrapped her arms around me, hugging me tightly. "You see, I'm not their mother. Someone else, who has sadly passed away now, is..."

I was... stunned to say the least. I don't know what one has to do to get a baby... or three, but I do know that it's something you should do only when you're married to the person. Which meant Daddy did a very bad thing.

"See Kadaj, He's not our daddy, he's our big brother. I told you he couldn't be our daddy, he's too short." The short-haired one yelled, pointing at me. My eye twitched at the short comment, after Vincent I was the tallest kid on the block. I pulled away from my mother to glare at him.

"No you didn't." The one with mid-length hair shrieked, bouncing on my bed. He must be Kadaj then.I looked at my mother, she honestly did not expect me to help take care of these little brats did she? Most of my friends had younger siblings and had to watch out for them and make sure they didn't get into any trouble or hurt themselves. Now where's the fun in that?

"Yes I did." The short haired one said, glaring. Kadaj glared back.

"No you didn't."

"Yes I did."

"NO YOU DIDN'T!!" Kadaj shouted, looking very scary for whatever age he was. I was guessing 5. The offending one took one look at him and burst into tears. Mom sighed, looking worn out. I hugged her, glaring at the three who would make my life hell.

"I want my mommy..." He wailed, throwing himself down on my bed and sobbing into my pillow. The long haired one patted his back.

"Don't cry Loz." He said, looking kind of disconnected from the rest of the world. I was beginning to worry about him really I was. But at least I finally knew who was who, short-hair but whiny was Loz, mid-length hair and aggressive was Kadaj and the drugged one with long hair must be Yazoo.

I sighed and looked at my mom, who was watching the three with a look that was between sad and angry. Since she wasn't going to stop it, I would have to.

"Hey, stop crying on my pillow. You're making it all wet." I complained loudly, wondering where my dad was and why he hadn't come to see what was going on. Maybe mom finally hit him with a vase? Loz raised his head and looked at me, those big green eyes trembling. Had I been a lesser person...or someone who wasn't exposed to that look on a daily basis (Reno was a master at it) I would've given in.

Instead I yelled at him some more. "You're a boy, you're not supposed to cry anyways... Unless Vincent shoots you in the privates with his gun, then you're allowed to cry cause that really hurt." It only happened once and it was by accident... Or so Vincent says, I didn't quite believe him. I think he just wanted to see me cry, sadistic bastard.

"Yes it does." An enthusiastic voice shouted and there was a thump as someone fell into my room from the window. I glanced over and sighed, just the person I needed to see to make my day complete. Note the sarcasm here people. The thump seemed to (thankfully) bring mom back into reality.

"Zack..." She sighed, getting to her feet and helping the boy up. I couldn't help but notice that he had landed on his head and sighed, wishing he had landed on something that would hurt later. "What have you been told about windows?" She asked, dusting him off in that way mom's do when they're irritated at you but amused at the same time.

"That windows are for escaping or getting thrown out of, Ma'am." He said, grinning widely at me before blinking and staring at my bed. He jumped back, slamming into the wall, eyes wide as he stared at the trio of annoyance.

"There's four Sephiroths... I'm dead!" He shrieked, jumping out the window. There came an even louder thump and I walked over to peer out the window. I sighed, well aware that my younger brothers were in some state between shock and trying not to pee their pants laughing.

"Better call the ambulance again mom, I think he broke his leg this time." It was at a rather funny angle. I wondered if I could get down there in time to poke it and make Zack go 'ow'.

Yes, it was just another day in my life.

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TBC

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Apologies for the wait, but I think it was worth it no?


	4. Meet the Pyromaniac

Disclaimer: I only own my muse and the plotline, nothing else. 

AN: And Reno finally makes an appearance.

Warnings: read the first chapter.

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"Ow..." Zack moaned, his leg at an angle that was not physically possible unless it was broken (which it probably was). I poked him with the stick again, giggling. The ambulance wasn't here yet and those me-lookalike-wannabes my mom called my brothers had had an accident while going down the stairs.

My two greatest annoyances had been dealt with within a span of five minutes and I didn't have to do anything that I didn't do normally. There must be some kind god looking after me, because fate was on my side.

"Heeeeeyyyyy Sephy." Or maybe not.

"What do you want Reno?" I sighed, not really in the mood to deal with the random pyromaniac on top of everything else. "And I thought I told you not to call me that." I growled, throwing the stick down (accidentally hitting Zack with it, but he still went 'ow' which amused me) and turning to face the redhead.

He grinned at me, looking like that purple cat I had seen in Alice in Wonderland. "Can't a guy talk to his friend while another friend lies helpless on the ground?" I stared at him and raised an eyebrow, wondering what in the hell he wanted.

"If you want to poke Zack, go ahead. Not like I'm going to stop you." I said, reclaiming my stick from Zack (which the idiot was using to poke his own leg) and poking him with it again. Zack went 'ow', I laughed and Reno... grinned even wider.

"Nah, I've poked Zack plenty, if you know what I mean..." He said in that tone that implied more than what he actually said. I blinked.

"No, what do you mean?" I asked, raising an eyebrow as the ambulance finally appeared on the scene. Reno shrugged.

"I don't know, I heard one of the older kids saying it." I laughed, that was typical of Reno and then pouted as Zack was carted away in the ambulance to get another cast on his leg and crutches that he probably wasn't going to use.

Reno and I watched the ambulance wail away, our eyes meeting as it disappeared from sight. "Sooo..." He said, drawing a lighter from his pocket and lighting it, clicking it on and off.

"Stop that before you set my lawn on fire... again." I snapped, taking the lighter from him and glaring at him as he pouted. "Why are you even here? Don't you have a brother to annoy?" I demanded, feeling a spark of anger at the mention of the word brother.

Pretty soon my siblings were going to be to me what Reno was to Axel. That made me shudder and want to drown the brats before they could set fire to my underwear drawer.

Reno shrugged. "Axel kicked me out, so I decided to annoy you." I rolled my eyes, though I felt kind of honored to be second on his list of people to annoy. We are cousins you know, Me, Cloud, Reno, Rufus and their respective siblings all go to the same family reunion, so we have to be related somehow.

"Course that was only cause Tseng wasn't home..." He continued. Ok, second to his best friend, which was still kind of cool. "And Vincent said if I annoyed him again he'd shoot me in the crotch." Reno looked at the sky, frowning.

"Reno. Shut up before I shove this stick up your nose." I threatened just because I wanted to shove the stick up someone's nose... Pity I didn't do it before Zack left, that would've been fun to explain to mom. I blinked, remembering my brothers.

"Hey Reno..." I said, grinning evilly. He looked at me, looking frightened. "Want to meet my little brothers?" He blinked and considered for a moment.

"Will they rip out my spleen and devour my intestines?" He asked, looking oddly serious. I thought for a second. Kadaj, despite being the leader, was basically harmless. Loz cried a lot and Yazoo had to be eating pills behind mom's back or something because nobody was that way naturally.

"Nah, they're harmless..." He didn't look convinced. "Well as harmless as they can be and still be my brothers." Was it normal for me to be proud of that? They did make Zack jump out the window just by looking at them.

I was half-way to the door when I realized something. I could finally enter the most evil brother on the block contest. I grinned evilly, practically bouncing into the house. Reno following behind me, a mixture of shock and fear showing on his face.

I was so going to enjoy this.

TBC

College and Gaia own my life. But... Mass updates will make an appearance.


	5. Burnin' down the house

Disclaimer: I only own my muse and the plotline, nothing else. 

AN: Burning down the house... snickers

Warnings: read the first chapter.

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"Right this way..." I said, slamming the door open. I blinked at the sound of wood meeting flesh and my dad's voice going 'ow'. I snickered and pulled the door forward before slamming it back again. What can I say? I'm an evil little...

"Sephiroth!!" My dad yelled, hand grabbing ahold of the door and keeping it there. He peered around it, yellow eyes blazing. I gave my best 'who me?' grin and grabbed Reno's hand, dashing past the door and into the living room before my dad could react.

"Hi Mr. Xemnas. Bye Mr. Xemnas." Reno called as we dashed past. If I had bothered to look back I knew I would've seen him waving with that cheeky look on his face.

"Hi Reno." My dad sounded kind of dazed. I think it might've been from the door to the head, but then again... It could be from the sudden appearance of his three sons.

My mom was standing in front of the couch, rubbing her head as the three terrors bounced on the couch. Or rather as Kadaj attempted to strangle Loz for pushing him down the stairs and Yazoo tried to set fire to the couch. I blinked and paused, throwing Reno to the floor. Where the heck did that kid get a lighter.

I raised an eyebrow as he looked up and grinned at me, head swaying. "Look Kadaj, Niisan is here." He smiled at me, flipping his lighter closed. Next thing I knew there was a black and silver blob attached to my torso, nearly knocking me over.

"NIISAN!!" Was squealed as Kadaj flew at me. "I thought you was gone forever like mama." Kadaj said, looking up at me with those big green eyes. I patted his head awkwardly.

"That's... nice." I said, not knowing what to say. Kadaj squeezed my ribs and then stood up on his tippy-toes to place a sloppy kiss on my cheek.

"I love you Niisan." He said, looking as cute as possible. I twitched and looked elsewhere. Oh look... Reno and Yazoo had teamed up and set fire to the drapes... That did not bode well. I looked at Mom, but she was busy trying to get Loz to stop crying. I didn't want to know the details, apparently that kid cried at the drop of a hat.

"Niisan..." Kadaj whined, swaying back and forth with his arms still around my neck. I swear I was going to stab the little bugger before the day was through. "You didn't say it back..." He pouted, sticking his bottom lip out. . However cute he was (and I would never admit I thought so, even under torture) I was more worried about Reno, Yazoo and their drape fire which they were currently encourgaging.

"Hey Moooommm." I said, trying to remove the Kadaj-leech from my body. He scowled and refused to turn loose, baring his teeth at me. They looked sharp and painful. I decided that it was in my best interests to let him stay or else he would bite and that would hurt.

"What is it Seph?" Mom asked, her tone sharp and brooking no nonsense. I pointed to the drapes... and the wall that were now on fire.

"Perhaps you should put Loz's tears to good use and put out that fire." I said. Mom blinked and turned around slowly, looking at me.

"What...Fi...re." She said, stopping and staring at the blaze with a huge 'wtf' look on her face. "oh... Shit."

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TBC

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Thanks to all for reading and reviewing.

Well what do you think of that? Reno and Yazoo setting fire to Seph's house. Apologies for the shortness, just thought it was a good place to stop.


	6. Choking

Disclaimer: I only own my muse and the plotline, nothing else. 

AN: Burning down the house... snickers

Warnings: read the first chapter.

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No sooner had the words left my mom's mouth than my dad ran into the room, fire extinguisher in hand. To this day I am still torn between cursing him for ruining my fun and congratulating him for finally learning that a Reno in the house meant there would be a fire in the house.

Did I mention that during this time period Kadaj was still attached to my neck like a leech?

"Niisan!!" And that I had just gained another one?

"Damn it Reno this is all your fault." I screeched out, trying to stay alive with two heavy five year olds attached to my body.

"Sephiroth watch your language." My mom snarked out, a bit distracted by the damage to her precious curtains. Where Yazoo and Reno had gone during this time period, I'll never know.

"Where did those firebugs go?" Dad asked, frowning in that way he did when I had done something extremely wrong (Like convince my younger cousins they could fly and watch them jump off the roof). At this instant, Loz and Kadaj decided to hold a contest to see who could squeeze the hardest.

I don't know who won, because next thing I knew, I was staring at the ceiling of the hospital in the bed beside Zack.

"What the hell?" I asked the ceiling, because chaos knows Zack wouldn't have the answer. Unless the answer was cheese, which... it rarely is.

"Two of the mini-Sephiroths tried to hug you to death. Guess it's hard to live if you love yourself that much." Zack said, nodding in that all knowing way of his. What I would do for a random stabbing.

"OW!!" Zack screamed as one of the triplets ran into the room and stabbed his leg with a pencil.

I think I'm beginning to like those brats.

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TBC

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Thanks to all for reading and reviewing.

Anyone have any ideas they'd like to share? I'll listen.


	7. Fire alarm in the hospital

Disclaimer: I only own my muse and the plotline, nothing else.

AN: Sorry for the delay, a lot of things have happened, but updating should be back on schedule soon.

Warnings: read the first chapter.

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Correction, I was really starting to hate those brats.

Why? Because as soon as Kadaj was finished stabbing Zack in the leg with a pencil, he moved on to hugging the life out of me.

I was really, really starting to think that there was someone up there that hated me. That or I had done something really bad in my last life. Karma really had a way of biting one in the ass. It was why Reno could barely walk in a straight line without hurting himself.

Which brought me to another question, where was Reno? However, that wasn't important. What was important was that my vision was blurring at the edges and, from the look Zack was giving me, I was starting to turn blue.

And while all this was going on, Kadaj was babbling about missing me and not wanting me to die and how he loved me so much he was never ever going to let me again ago.

I was really, really starting to hate my life. Which probably wouldn't last that long considering that I couldn't breathe.

My vision was growing black, my shirt was getting wet and Zack... Zack was staring at me like...

You know how some people have those life-changing thoughts when they're near death? Not me, all I could think of was how I would really, really like to stab Zack in the face so he would stop making that stupid expression. It was like...

Before I could even finish that thought, the fire alarm went off and Kadaj's arms were suddenly removed from my neck as he ran out of the room squealing like a stuck pig. I really, really did not want to know.

"You alright Sephy?" Zack asked, peering at me with that same stupid expression on his face. I really, really wanted to stab him. And since there wasn't a Kadaj-leech draining life and breath from me, I reached for the nearest instrument (a black plastic spork left in offering to the gods) and stabbed him in the leg.

"Call me Sephy again and I'll castrate you." I threatened. I didn't know what castration meant, but my mom used it to threaten my dad all the time, so it must be pretty painful.

"Awww...but Sephy." He whined, lip trembling. I stabbed him again. And then rubbed my head, the fire alarm was really loud and it was starting to give me a headache. Would someone please shut it up?

Something (Kadaj) went wailing down the hall, screaming loud enough to drown out the high-pitched screeching of the fire alarm. I barely caught sight of a blur of silver, red and blue hurtling down the hall followed by my Uncle.

My head really, really hurt. I decided the best course of action would to be just to knock myself out and hope that I was still alive when this was all over.

----This line has been brought to you by the number 'pi' and the letter 'Q'----

I woke to the sounds of heated debate going on.

"Cookie monster is totally the most awesome character."

"Nuh uh. Mr. Noodle so pwns all."

"Cookie Monster could so eat Mr. Noodle."

"No he couldn't, Mr. Noodle would do something totally stupid and escape. I love Mr. Noodle."

My cousins were so intelligent.

I decided that for the sake of my sanity and my cousins' health, it would be best to go back to sleep.

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TBC

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Thanks to all for reading and reviewing.

The last bit is an actual conversation I had with my cousin, just this morning in fact. Please don't ask how a 19-year-old and a 15-year-old got on that subject when Sesame Street was not involved, nor was there a preschooler in the house.

Hope you liked it, I apologize for the wait. And remember, reviews equal love.


	8. In which there is Tseng

Disclaimer: I only own my muse and the plotline, nothing else

Disclaimer: I only own my muse and the plotline, nothing else. 

AN: Since I haven't updated in like ever, you get two chapters for the price of one, hurray!

Warnings: read the first chapter. Partly crossed with KHII.

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I had just got out of the hospital, Kadaj had been rescued from the ceiling fan and Reno (and by association, Yazoo) hadn't set anything fire recently. So what does my mom decide to do? Throw a party in honor of these events as a way of introducing the triplets to the neighborhood. I swear the longer I lived, the more I was tempted into contributing to the 'buy Vincent a real gun' fund.

Speaking of Vincent, he was over in the corner being pestered by Zack. Poor Vincent had had his paintball gun confiscated at the door, because Mom was tired of cleaning up paint stains and explaining the Mrs. Xu why Zack had red paint on the crotch of all his outfits, which left him with no defense against the idiot except for sarcasm.

...And his knees. Man, that looks painful. Vincent has proved to us once again why he is the scariest kid on the block, rivaling even Axel, Reno's older brother, who once set the school on fire, not only did he carry a paintball gun at nearly all times, but he also had nothing against kneeing another guy in the groin. Hard.

Almost makes me feel sorry for Zack, but then I remember all the stupid things he's done to me, including putting me in a dress while I was asleep, and that makes me feel as though he deserved a second, and third, kick to the groin and maybe a little creative torture as well, maybe I'll convince my new little brothers to go put gum in his hair or something. Instead, I think I'll go tell Cloud that Zack fell out my window again and broke his leg, which would unleash the lecture of doom accompanied by the fondling of pointy objects and evil grins. Cloud is scary when he's worried about the safety of others, and when we're doing something he doesn't approve of, and when Reno's burning something, or I'm attempting to kill something. Actually, Cloud is scary period.

Just as I was about to get up from the couch and hunt down my knife-wielding cousin, I was attacked by, not Kadaj, Loz or Yazoo as by now you would assume, but Tseng. The ninja-wannabe jumped out of me from the shadows and pinned me to the couch, grinning like a maniac.

I blinked slowly, staring up at the oriental boy who usually could be counted on to be somewhat sane and noticed that his gold eyes were unusually bright today. My ears pricked up as I heard Reno's distinctive giggle and I looked past Tseng's head just in time to see Reno's smirking face disappear behind Zexion's big butt. It didn't take a genius to figure out what was going on, obviously Reno had given Tseng sugar. Tseng was one of those odd boys who were usually very well-behaved and mannered right up until someone gave them something either sugary or caffeinated and then the whole world had better look out, because they were freaking insane.

The last time Tseng had had sugar, the entire neighborhood had to have their houses repainted, and some of them, rebuilt. 

It was practically one of the neighborhood's ten commandments, being right up there with 'Thou shalt not put Sephiroth in a dress' and 'Thou Shalt not give Zack ideas'. Giving Tseng sugar was like handing Vincent a real gun, or giving Reno napalm, it was just something you didn't do if you had a healthy survival instinct, which Reno obviously didn't.

"Tseng." I said calmly, as if speaking to a wild animal... or my little brothers. "Is there some reason why you're pinning me to my couch?" I spoke slowly and evenly, trying my best not to twitch or do anything that Tseng would consider a threat. I was rather fond of my limbs being where they were, in the same position they were in now, and relatively pain-free. If I accidentally pissed Tseng off, there was no doubt in my mind that he would twist at least one of my arms into an incredibly painful position.

I watched as Tseng's grin widened, his eyes glittering in the low light of the living room. I couldn't believe that idiot had managed to sneak Tseng sugar without any of us knowing until he pounced me. I also couldn't believe that no one had noticed him pinning me to the couch, but then again, most of the adults were busy either a.) convincing Kadaj they weren't aliens, b.) trying to get Loz to stop crying or c.) keeping Yazoo from setting fire to various objects. I had a feeling that this was not going to end well.

0x0x0x0x0x

TBC

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Thanks to all for reading and reviewing.

And remember, reviews equal love.


	9. In which Seph's pants are stolen

Disclaimer: I only own my muse and the plotline, nothing else

Disclaimer: I only own my muse and the plotline, nothing else. 

AN: Tseng's gone crazy...

Warnings: read the first chapter. Partly crossed with KHII.

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So there I was, pinned to the couch by a sugar-crazed Tseng with no way to call for help without getting my arm yanked into some painful position. I stared deep into Tseng's glazed gold eyes, wishing that I wasn't pinned against the couch so I could back up slowly, like you do with a wild animal, which was what the normally intelligent and cool Tseng was reduced to in this state. He giggled, honest to god giggled at me as his hands drifted towards my waistband.

I squealed as he undid my fly and... yanked my pants (and underwear) straight off, then ran off, holding his prize aloft. I blinked and sat up, noticing that my screech had attracted the attention of every single person in the room. The silence was deadening as they stared at me and I stared back, none of us daring to so much as move as Tseng ran back into the room with my pants on his head.

Someone please kill me now. Or better yet, hand me Masamune so I can kill Tseng and then kill myself out of sheer embarrassment. Not even Zack had dared do anything close to what Tseng had just did. Granted, he did stick his hands down my pants once, but that was when we were real little.

"Why doesn't Niisan have to wear pants?" I sank down deep into the couch at Yazoo's question, flushing a deep scarlet as everyone blinked in unison.

"If he doesn't have to wear pants, I don't want to wear pants either." Kadaj announced, cheerfully tossing his pants over his head and joining Tseng in his race about the house.

Never mind my earlier comment, someone please put me out of my misery. I groaned as the house began to shudder and quake about us. I didn't know what in the hell Tseng was doing now, or what he was going to do, I could only hope like hell it distracted everyone from my pants-less state before I died out of shame.

Or from the fire Yazoo had just started.

Why in the hell can't we go one day without something blowing up?

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TBC

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Thanks to all for reading and reviewing.

And remember, reviews equal love.


	10. Random occurences

Disclaimer: I only own my muse and the plotline, nothing else. 

AN: Been a while hasn't it?

Warnings: read the first chapter. Partly crossed with KHII and KH:CoM.

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If you thought Reno was bad, Axel was a thousand times worse. Reno, at least, kept his fires to small things, like leaf piles, the couch and occasionally someone's pants if they stood still long enough. Axel burned everything within sight, houses, trees, cars, whatever was in range and flammable, which, technically, was just about everything. I had once heard a rumor that not only was he responsible for burning down his high school, but a church as well.

Even Zack knew Axel was bad news, and that was saying something because Zack didn't even recognize when he was in pain sometimes. However, while Zack may realize this, the adults.... didn't –partly because Axel was never caught-.

Which is why, when Dad had an accident involving steak knives and Mom and had to go to the hospital, and Mommy had to... go away for a while, Axel was sent over to our house to watch over us until one of our parents returned home. Reno came with him, for 'Moral Support'.

I honestly was not expecting for our house to survive the month. To make things even worse, Larxene and Rufus's Dad had a 'Sex Scandal', whatever that was, about the same time Mom was sent to... that place, and had to leave the country for a while, so they were staying our house until it blew over.

I wasn't worried about Reno and Rufus, without Tseng's calming influence, Rufus and Reno were only dangers to themselves because they could barely go five minutes without an argument about something stupid or making a minor amount of trouble –compared to what they did when Tseng was there-. Tseng had been sent off to visit his grandparents' for a while, so there wouldn't be any major damage from them for quite a while. The Triplets, while a pain in the ass, still had yet to learn not to eat things I gave them, so they were easily subdued.

Larxene and Axel were the only real problem, both being uncontrollable teenagers, and to make things worse, they had hated each other since they were toddlers, or so Zexion had told me. Put the two of them in the same house and sparks will fly, as Larxene had a strange way with electrical appliances, put the two of them in the same room, and it will take years to get the scorch marks off of the ceiling, if there was anything left of the room afterwards.

These two had made their enmity famous over the years with their near-constant destruction of property whenever they were in the same block, and the head of our family had decided to place them in the same house for an undetermined amount of time.

Could I really be blamed for grabbing the others and going to Zack's house, instead of staying there?

The police say I can.

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TBC

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Thanks to all for reading and reviewing.


	11. Troublesome Triplets

Disclaimer: I only own my muse and the plotline, nothing else.

AN: I will be gone from Tuesday til Sunday, so any requests, reviews and such that come to me while I'm gone will be replied to when I get back. Thank you Panther X for the idea used this chapter.

Warnings: read the first chapter. Partly crossed with KHII and KH:CoM. And now FF8.

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It was almost a shock when I went by my house two days later and found that not only was it still standing, but there weren't any scorch marks, or any sign of devastation to be found. Larxene and Axel were still inside the house. I could hear them screaming at each other, but there wasn't any smoke rising from the house.

Taking a deep breath, I opened the door and saw exactly why our house was still unharmed.

The triplets had escaped their cages. Literally.

See, Zack's dad used to keep large dogs for some reason I really didn't understand, and when the police took them away, he kept the cages. So Reno, Rufus and I decided that the best way to keep my little brothers out of trouble would be to stuff them in there –each to their own cage, we're not a puppy mill- and only let them out for bathroom breaks and dinner. It worked in theory, after all it was almost impossible to get out of those things from the inside. I would know; Zack had accidentally locked me in one while we were playing once.

Anyway, back to the main topic. The triplets were in the house. They had tied up Axel and Larxene, and they were wearing dresses. Well, Kadaj and Yazoo were wearing dresses. Loz was naked, and wearing a cat collar –specifically, Rufus's cat's collar-. They were so going to be in so much trouble when Mom got home.

I was just about to back out the door and run for the nearest intelligent adult when they spotted me. I did not like the look shining in their eyes. They looked like they were about to eat me. Suddenly, Kadaj and Yazoo took super-hero-like poses.

"Prepare for trouble." Kadaj announced. I stared blankly at him, wondering what in the hell was going on.

"...And make it double." Yazoo still sounded like he had been sniffing gas fumes.

"To protect the world from devastation!"

"To unite all peoples within our nation!"

"To denounce the evils of truth and love."

"To extend our reach to the skies above."

"Kadaj."

"Yazoo."

"Team Rocket, blasting off at the speed of light."

"Surrender now or prepare to fight."

"Meow, that's right." Loz said, jumping up between them. I stared at them for a second, taking in the shining grins on their faces. They really were proud of themselves. Too bad, I was going to have to crush their stupid dreams.

"You three are no longer allowed to watch kid shows. They make you think doing stupid things in the name of evil is a good thing." I announced joyfully, taking sadistic pleasure in seeing their sad faces. With one last look at the shocked Axel and Larxene -who would remain tied up until Dad returned from the hospital a week later-, I stalked out of the house. An evil grin on my face as I went to inform Rufus and Reno that it was safe to go back home.

Things were beginning to look better, and the police hadn't been called once.

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TBC

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Thanks to all for reading and reviewing.


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